Let me...

Sometimes I wonder if it is possible to do these things: "Keep the fire burning, live everyday like its your last." Cliche passed down from one generation of church goers to the next. "Live everyday like its your last..."
I feel my fire reigniting, and I am excited. But, at what point in my life will I hit another dry spiritual season? How long can I go army strong for before I crumple at my knees again?
For some inexplicable reason, the beatitude: "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" is playing in my head.
God I want to be made meek everyday, but I also want to burn myself up for Your kingdom. I don't understand sometimes. I wish things were clearer. I wish my body would react every time I commanded it to; I wish my mind was clear of certain things all the time; I wish I could say that I live everyday like it is my last. But I can't, and that kills me, because I remember the days when God has visited me in His glory. I know that there is nothing else that matters. Nothing! And so I pray a dishonest man's prayer: "God do not allow me to tire; let the waters run over me and keep me refreshed; let my spirit constantly wallow in your riches; let me live everyday like it is my last."