Day 110

The "good" things that we do, sometimes we do consciously. But, what about those little things that we do that we think have no impact on life: those small prayers, those encouraging words, those trips to a pizza place on a cold day just to see a troubled friend, little smiles, saying thank you, apologizing for the wrongs, edifying, comforting. Those little things that we wonder why we even did, you know, because they made us a little more vulnerable. Those things that we cannot even explain why we did. Do you know why these little things are so important? Somewhere, buried deep deep deep, okay, I'll stop, it's not so deep, it's in the 20th chapter of Proverbs, the Bible teaches:
Man's goings are of the Lord, how can a man then understand his own way?

There is nothing to add my friends, except rejoice at those little things, at that thing you do, which by the way is a really good movie, a really good one.

Happy birthday Varun.

Hitman

So, I was into this movie, until this scene. I took off my earphones, and looked away. Movie continued, and I put my headphones back on, and looked back at the computer screen.
About three scenes later, I thought, Good scene, very brilliantly worded in my opinion. Then, it came, and I hit my head against the bed rail in frustration. Again! I growled!!! Ok, stay calm. The Hitman goes into the bathroom and does what he does best, he and the girl both leave. Next scene comes on...and I cannot take it anymore. Oh well, what do they lose by losing one viewer right?
Why can't movies just stay clean? Are they children, or pigs that must first be rolled in the mud and then shown to the world? Do these producers think we are so stupid that we need stupid scenes to get the point of a movie? Or are those stupid scenes part of the point of the movie? Hmm. Sad.

Schlachthof funf

"Slaughterhouse-Five" by Kurt Vonnegut was an interesting read. I find him an obscene writer in a lot of ways; I also think he lacks a bit of imagination: all his stories about the aliens were sadly lame. I respect the diction of the book and his bohemian way of expressing himself though.
The book taught me a little more about World War II, which is as well, because we, as a people, cannot continue to live in ignorance about our past and the atrocious things that have happened. Well, we can if we choose to, it just does not seem right to me that such things be kept suppressed. There is a place and time for truth, and as long as there is a sunrise to watch, these truth will be brought out of darkness. In truth, we really have a sad past.
After I finished the book, I asked myself what the benefit of books were. My opinion on this is varied and dependent on the book in question, or more precisely, the author of the book. Most books try to educate us, teach us things we did not know, and most times could not have known any other way because the things they taught happened in a time before any of us were born.
But other books seem to me to tell people what is right and wrong. They teach doctrine, and since I believe that there are only two types of doctrine, God's and the world's, then I have regrettably concluded that most of these Nobel prize winning books do not teach His doctrine.
This is disheartening, because as the number of worldly books that become popular increase, the number of people learning false doctrine increases also, even among Christians, and will the chaff then be separated from the wheat? The Bible teaches that:

"For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect"

"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak"

CHRISTmas Day

So yeah, I spent Christmas day at the Hull's. knew it wud b fun but it ended up bein evn mo fun thn i expected. (I offer no apologies for reverting to Stanleysh, say something if u dare!)
It was a phenomenal night. The "Violinman" was at his best, Mrs. Hull played the piano and the accordion, Blanche Smith was all over the saxophone, Mr. Smith and his wife sang, Lore and Mr. Smith read poetry, Mr. Hull sat, arms crossed, a snug smile on his face, his mother sat at the table and quietly ordered the next piece of music, Caleb and Melissa sat apart, then together, then apart again, "Lulu" was "lulu" (she did take pictures though)...and me, I just sat, slipping in and out of "this world", thinking, looking, smelling, feeling, loving every second of it...and I thought, Of all the places I could have been, why did Lore invite me over here? That night was spent doing things I loved, I even did a bit of the salsa basics with "Lulu", and it didn't hurt that the Lakers beat the Suns 122 to 115. On the way back, we threw out a house from the car window at the request of the Lady of the Car(we being Caleb and I, snugger than is usually advised, on the front passenger seat!!), yes a real house, with a real roof and snowman and stuff. At the end of the day,
We are the Reason
Words & Music by David Meece Copyright 1980 Meece Music (admin by) WORD Music

As little children we would dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

And we were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts
And giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying
in the rain
Because of love, because of love

And we are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

I finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him
For Him

And we are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

He is my reason to live

Thank you Lore.


The Gft of the Magi---very good poem

photography

i just found one of d most finger-lickingly mouth-droopingly gasp-alotingly photography blogs i've ever seen. ah, the joys of art. i linked it to my kool bloglist under "blogs r fun..."
check it out. wht do u think?

Kobe Bryant is one of the most phenomenal players to ever hold onto an orange ball. makes me wonder: jordan or kobe? kobe or jordan?

bracelets just cannot stay on my wrist without getting ripped! aah, it sucks!!

God is able to do more than we can ask or imagine

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071222/wl_nm/nigeria_rebels_dc

...and my laughter turns sour, but God is able to do more than we can ask or imagine. All we can do is ask, or imagine.

U'VE GATTA SEE THIS!! I DID

Coppery Red...

it is not the estate of man to be happy all the time in this world. in solitude, maybe, with just the breath of God in our hair, but why remain there forever when adventure bounds playfully in the next human settlement? as the Bible puts it aptly:

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might!"

whatever...that's a lot for the hand to do...

im krazy wit a "k", oh my oh my. i hope i make God smile. not jst wit my kraziness, but jst overall, i hope He smiles. i'd like to say i know i make God smile, but then, therez this awe tht comes ova me when i think bout such things in relation to God. He is so amazing, and like Chris Tomlin said, I have no way to put it into words, so maybe I'll dance, or draw, or pray, or write, or read, or speak, or sing (or maybe not shave)...or maybe, I'll just smile.
i dont want to miss today's sunrise. tht came out wrong. i WILL NOT miss today's sunrise! 7:35 baby!!!

im thinkn Sunday shud b "wear something red" Sunday. tht came out wrong. Sunday is "wear something red" Sunday! (some time) baby!!

annoyingly, i still cannot find d right software that is compatible with my Razr to put up pictures on my computer. and i spent a lot of time looking for it! oh well, i'll get u later!

Good music

Day 100

It's 5:04am and I've still not slept a wink. Yea, maybe I can see my first sunrise.

And the literary bug is upon me
As God awakens in me a desire He planted
The back pages of my Bible come alive
And as I believe in those pages
As I believe in those simple commands
I come alive
Oh God I come alive
My dreams come alive
Your Fire comes alive in me
And I become a dusty vessel for You
Take me and smelt me
Prepare me in the Fire of Your Face
And then when Your insignia is ready
Release me to the howling wind
Release me to the ravaging desert
Do not keep me Lord, forever in Your hearth
For I can must leave the warmth of Your Fire
With the blood of Jesus, I must go
It will cleanse and feed and comfort me
And it reminds me that You are watching over me
I may return scratched, broken, shattered
But Your insignia will never fall
And at the end, I will dwell forever
In the warmth of the Fire of Your Face

Hmm and then there was silence

Aah..it's so easy to forget, so very easy. And that is inexcusable, oh man thou art inexcusable. Woe to the forgetful nature of man. We forget our duties, we forget our promises, we forget our loves, we forget our very reason for existence...

And then, we remember. We look out at the dripping smile of the constant sun, we hear the pounding heart of our resuscitated memories, we taste the warm blood in the cold wind, and then we remember, and we find that we never really forgot. We might have forgotten but for a season but God remembers, and so we never really forgot.



Finally, my white band splits, but "+JESUS is the CENTER of the SEASON+" still

The Ship of State by Henry W. Longfellow

Sail on, sail on, O Ship of State!
Sail on, O Union, strong and great!
Humanity, with all its fears,
With all the hopes of future years,
Is hanging breathless on thy fate!
We know what Master laid thy keel,
What Workmen wrought thy ribs of steel,
Who made each mast, and sail, and rope;
What anvils rang, what hammers beat,
In what a forge and what a heat
Were forged the anchors of thy hope!
Fear not each sudden sound and shock--
'Tis of the wave, and not the rock;
'Tis but the flapping of the sail,
And not a rent made by the gale!
In spite of rock, and tempest roar,
In spite of false lights on the shore,
Sail on, nor fear to breast the sea!
Our hearts, our hopes, are all with thee.
Our hearts, our hopes, our prayers, our tears,
Our faith, triumphant o'er our fears,
Are all with thee, are all with thee!

Day 99

God listens even when we feel He doesn't. I feel sometimes that He just looks down and listens to us, "nodding" silently as we talk about our pains, joys, dreams. Why do we feel that God isn't there sometimes, I wonder? That is an extraordinary case of unbelief. And that is one of the most dangerous things in the world: for unbelief nullifies the power of Jesus in our lives. And without Jesus, where would we be? So don't worry, dreams come true, believe me I know. A lot of mine have come true, and so I continue to hope.
Sometimes I "see so much" that I think I must be a fool to believe them, it has nothing to do with worldly "prosperity" this time, I assure you. Maybe when I'm ten years older, I'll look back and see that I have indeed been foolish. I would happily be a fool for Christ.
"Death is a passing of time"--I still cannot understand that.

Why "I am Legend" made it to my top movies list

I am Legend.

I think it behoves me to comment on the reason why a movie makes it into my top movie list; if any "interesting" movie can be added on, that would not narrow my list down enough for my convictions and desires to be publicly known and I do not mind them being known. In fact, it consider it necessary to explain myself.

I am Legend is the sort of movie that got me wishing I had a coin or a pen to flip between my fingers because it kept on the edge of my seat, but not until after the first ten minutes. Instead I pressed the edge of my fingers together, in the manner of spiders dancing in a mirror. I am not sorry to confess that I found the chasing of the deer and the washing of the dog and talking to mannequins drab and rank with sad humor. It just bored the enthusiasm out of me, until night came, and Neville began to close the windows and lock himself into the house. Then, he slept with his dog in the bath holding onto a shotgun, and I was drawn in, suspense came alive in me. The flashbacks that introduced the character of his wife and daughter made him more real and accessible in my mind. I could see him as a person, and not some gun-toting musketeer who decided that mannequins are interesting enough to "preach" to. The scene where his wife was wrongly scanned scared me a little, I find that I try as much as is possible to distance myself from the characters in a movie, so that I can critique it properly; but throw a child in and my facade shatters. His wife had prior to this tried to convince him to join them and flee the plagued city but he was willing to sacrifice his life for the life of others who he felt responsible for, and in a way, rightly so for they were unable to defend and protect themselves. They said a quick prayer by the helicopter, and for the first time during the movie, I leaned forward: they prayed in a movie? Are you kidding me? I was as shocked as the majority of non-Christians in there were probably amused, but only at first. And I wonder if the propagandists who had campaigned against "The Golden Compass" should not have instead shifted their attention to this movie.
Anyways, back to my synopsis, the helicopter took off, and Neville cried. I think this was only one case out of two where he actually cried. He cried because of uncertainty, and fear, would he ever see his baby and her mother again? The bridge was blown up and his concern turned very quickly to exasperation as infected zombies began to leap across the ocean with the intent of drawing down the handful of helicopters over the bridge. Then, blackout...

He went out hunting with his dog, and for the first time, we could see the extent of his commitment outside of the lab, where he was painstakingly recording his numerous failed attempts to find a cure: he went over to a bridge everyday at noon, "when the sun was at the highest" just in case there was anyone who was immune to the virus, just like he was. He waited in vain, and then went in search of deer. I remember a prior scene where he was about to shoot a deer, just as a HUGE lioness leaped upon it and tore it apart. Neville still looked intent on shooting it, until an equally HUGE lion strutted across with its cubs. Then, he decided to walk away, very wisely I must add. Anyways, he and his dog, Sam were in hot chase of another deer; when it suddenly changed direction and went into a DARK alley. Sam followed. Neville was caught between going in and going in, I believe that it was really not an option for him to leave his dog, which his daughter had given to him as a pup. That dog represented more to him than a mere companion; it was his baby. He overcame his fear and walked in; following a trail of blood very fearfully. I was confused as to why he shaded the light from his gun while in the alley until the light struck one of the zombies, and I understood. He finally found his dog, but at the same time, awakened the zombies. To escape, he had to jump out of the third story of a building and a new aspect of the movie was shown, the zombies could not deal with UV. Riddled with glass shrapnels, he looked up, and I thought he was amazed at how he had made the jump, maybe he was, but he was also preoccupied with other things. He returned and set a trap with his blood at the entrance of the alley and captured one of the zombies. That was when the character that I will refer to as LZ (Lead Zombie) was introduced; LZ exposed himself to the sunlight for a while, snarling at Neville. I was as shocked as Neville that it had done that; my own theory was Neville took his daughter(since he had the form of a male, I can confer him the adjective "his").
Neville returned to the lab and was sorely disappointed that his "cure" did not work. The next day, he went hunting and saw one of the mannequins in a displaced position, that is it had moved position. Neville shot at Fred, the name he had given this particular mannequin when Fred did not answer his questions as to what it was doing there (how could it, it was inanimate). Curiosity caused Neville to walk up to Fred, and there the plot unfolded as a rope hung him upside down and he was knocked unconscious; he had been caught in his "own trap" by the zombies.
His watch alarm announcing the coming of night, more than his dog's persistent barking woke him from his stupor. He cut himself down, and fell onto the edge of his knife, thus becoming paralyzed. LZ appeared at the entrance of the alley and released his two dogs, but they were stopped by the slight light that still remained. Watching those dogs stay behind the light, I was awakened to how much the light of God through Jesus protects us from darkness which we can see and that which we cannot. But alas, the light dwindled and was swallowed by darkness and the dogs attacked. Neville shot one, Sam took on the other, and a third attacked Neville. Now, these were huge dogs, HUGE; but Sam fought for Neville and Neville fought for Sam, and at the end, both zombie dogs were killed, but Sam was bitten. Neville carried him home and injected him with the nonfunctional cure. With Sam cradled in his arms, the virus began to take over; and Neville had to choke his dog. During that scene, all the music faded, and only Neville's face, concerted with agony, was shown. Neville cried for the second and last time in the movie. That scene moved me beyond compare; I had come to love that dog as much as he did.
Neville, with nothing to lose, went out in the dark to await the zombies in his truck. His attempts to run them all over failed, emotion makes us forget that we are just human. Just when he was about to be eaten, a light appeared and then, blackout...
He semi-consciously directed a woman to his house in the dark.

He woke to the sound of "Shrek", and crept surreptitiously towards the kitchen. The woman, Ruth, and her son were making breakfast. When Ruth tried to tell him that there were other survivors apart from him, he struck the table, scaring Ruth and her son. Ruth quickly pulled a gun on him and broken as he was, he could not take it, so he went upstairs to clear his head. Ruth then told her son to drop the knife, which he must have picked from the table when he jumped off of it, and this was no bread knife and it astonished me how quickly children adapt; and also the genius of the director in adding that infinitesimal character twist in that little boy. It remained with me for a while. Maybe because I love children.
Anyways, later, Neville comes down and mimics the entire script of Shrek in scary zombie-like manner, and I felt such sympathy for him; the death of his dog had really broken him. He snapped out of it soon enough, and returned to his lab work and "normal life."
Then in another scene, Ruth tries to convince him that God had spoken to her, and he refutes this. She does not flinch, and instead admonishes him to listen to his heart for God's voice. At this point, I was pushing my fingers against each other with such fervor, you would think I had electricity between them. Only a few movies do this to me, but my spirit was awakened at that point.
The zombies follow them to their house and a great battle ensues between Neville and LZ; and LZ flees to the top of the house where he proceeds to tear open the roof. Neville leads Ruth and her son to the lab just as the zombies rush into the house. Neville and Ruth discover that the cure is working on the zombie that Neville had captured. Behind the security of the bullet proof fiberglass, Neville calls out to the zombies to listen because he can cure them, but they do not even understand. LZ alone runs headfirst into the glass, and bit by bit it shatters. Neville listens to his heart (and this part I love) and locks Ruth and her son in a compartment, and just as LZ shatters the glass, he runs into them, grenade in hand, and blows them all up.
Ruth escapes with the cure, and the story of the legend of Neville, and delivers it to the survivor's colony (I remember the story of Elijah and the hundred prophets who had hidden in the caves during the time of Jeezebel's oppression).

So, with "I am Legend", I think Will has made himself a legend, maybe not so much in the worldly way (even though I believe that if his success continues he will be remembered as one of the most exciting actors in the history of the movie industry or at least his time), but in a spiritual way. He has become the instrument for passing across a message to the world that God exists, and Jesus died for all our sins; and this just before Christmas.

Coincidence, I think not, my friends, I think not.

Nobel prizing winning novel, "The Fall" by Albert Camus

With just 30 short pages to go, I stopped, just about 2000 words, and I put it down. Not for a lack of interest or a stunting in the exquisite language that Albert Camus uses throughout the book, no. I stopped for "faith sake". Not all movies are meant to be watched; imagine avoiding pornography all your life and encountering a "short" minute and a half clip in a movie. Would you walk out on the entire movie or stay on and take a chance at cleansing your mind of those images some time later? It was the same thing with me here: I realized that most of what sounds wise is not, and oftentimes, it beheads us to forsake these wise words for the simplicity of the gospel. Camus rambled coherently about a lot of issues in his Nobel prize winning book "The Fall"; and it took me a while to realize that Camus was teaching his own "doctrine" in this book. He uses the "life" of the character of a humanist, Jean-Baptiste Clemence qua "judge-penitent", in his book to put forward the results of his own meditations. It was not until he began to speak somewhat subtly about Jesus Christ, referring to him as "the one who was crucified", that I began to feel the weight of the book pressing down on my soul. It is no chance circumstance that I started moving around and getting bored with reading right before I lighted upon this portion of his book. Do not be confused: Camus spoke about religion and God before this; it was just not as direct and focused as it became around the very end. I am inclined to argue that the region that the reference to Jesus is situated makes me conclude that that was one of the most important portions of the book; at least in the psych of Camus. He lead us right up to it with his subtle mention of "Eden" and "God arguing the cases of his clientèle", and I wonder why philosophy is so averse to order. It seems like most written works by the deep-thinkers of each age decry the state of life where there is a "rule of law", in most cases religion. They looks upon it as a subterfuge for some grand scheme by groups of moralists to squash libertarianism, hedonism and humanism.
I conclude that this is not a clash between two different "schools of thoughts"; it is a war far deeper than that, between God and His Lamb and Son, and the powers and principalities and the rulers of this world. And it scares me a bit that I think this "deep", and expose myself to some of this doctrine. But then again, we all serve our purpose in life, and I believe God will not give me an obstacle that I cannot overcome; and so I dare to fly across, on the wings of angels. Someone has to do it; if not, the destinies of our children generations into the future will be held ransom, and maybe our children may be made clean by the promises that God makes to us concerning them, but what happens to those who have no way of protecting themselves from false doctrine who we have vowed to protect? What happens to their children? Will we be the cursed people who say unto those little ones, "Go away!"
God is faithful that He will not allow us to be overtaken by the devices of the enemy in this battle, for the battle is not ours, but neither are we pawns, for heaven rejoices at the salvation of a single soul. So, I pray to God "not to lead me into temptation but to deliver me from evil." I pray and I watch.
And I write.

Aah.."I am Legend" makes box-office history as the best-selling movie in December. Aah..very nice..so the world is ready; and from what I heard from other people who saw it, they were more ready than I was (if you remember, I was bored with the first 10 minutes).
Hmm..interesting..very

Day 98

"I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to men of ability; for time and chance overtake them all"

Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

9:11,12 Men's success seldom equals their expectations. We must use means, but not trust to them: if we succeed, we must give God the praise; if crossed, we must submit to his will. Those who put off the great concerns of their souls, are caught in Satan's net, which he baits with some worldly object, for which they reject or neglect the gospel, and go on in sin till they suddenly fall into destruction

Day 97

About an hour ago, I got off the phone with a friend, Chike "Chique" Ukaegbu; we had a most interesting conversation about "destiny and skills" and all that sort of stuff. We talked about how engineering can be a stepping stone to our deep artsy desires because of the surety that it gives in terms of job opportunities. It is very easy for an artist (a photographer, a painter, a poet, a philosopher) to give up on a dream because of the difficulty that comes before there can be "real" success in these knowledge areas. Then again, success, in my opinion, is a matter of perspective: to one, it may be making a ton of money; to another, changing the lives of a multitude of people with their talent may be the defining criteria. But, how can the latter be achieved if your work is not "popular" enough to be accessed by a sizable audience. Chique raised an important point though: he says it is not very wise to chase dreams while you have no way to provide for yourself. It is not for a lack of talent that are so many people on the streets of NYC; it is the necessary foundation that everyone needs to build their aspirations on that is lacking on the streets. An argument can be raised that there are people who get successful very early and without much difficulty; but that is the ficklety (which is not an excepted word like fickleness yet but I'll use it anyways, it's my blog) of the world. The Bible reads:

I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to men of ability; for time and chance overtake them all"

So there are different times for different people.
Dream wisely, and believe in the prophecies and talents that God has placed in your life.

Also, we talked about the subject of "obedience to parents", and the significance that obedience brought into the world. In the story of Leah and Jacob, it is important to remember that Leah was not the preferred of Jacob, neither was she supposed to be the "reward" for working seven years for Laban, Leah's father. But at Laban's request, Jacob worked another seven years for Rebekah, and still retained Leah as his wife. The tribe of Judah, where David stemmed from, and of whose physical seed Jesus was "delivered" into the world, was a product of the union of Jacob and Leah. Imagine what would happen if Jacob eloped with Rebekah, and abandoned Leah; what would be our lot today? No Jesus? That's scary.

(I must also add that Mr. Alan Daniels added some insight in this area during a conversation Peter Parker and I had with him yesterday)

Day 97

Hmm...an interesting night, yes indeed.

As I predicted, the movie "I am Legend" is ahead of its time...the average rating was a B-. There were a couple of A's (one review referred to it as "scary greatness"), and a bunch of F's. I honestly do not blame the viewers who do not like "I am Legend"; they are just not ready to allow themselves to be taken down that dark movie genre, where facial pictures(qua emotions) and sounds make more impact than words. I think that just like we believe the earth rotates about the sun today (which I have chosen to take for granted and have no opinion on; trust me it is a winding cross argument about one thing depending on the other, and so forth), we may well be ready for these "silent movies" one day...if there are producers brave enough to move against the stream of "spy movies", and "raunchy comedies."
And that is my spilgz.

Day 96

"I am Legend"...hmm...

I do not feel qualified to critique this movie but I am entitled to an opinion of my own. At first, the movie had no appeal; it was like a hazy black and white photograph that had been exposed for too long: it lacked emotion, sound, characters, (the main character was singing to a dog and talking to mannequins for goodness sakes!!!!)
But as the movie progresses, color floats in: we find out more about the main character's family, and all that he is missing from his life before the virus...hope...the will to live. The only thing he still holds onto is his "self-imposed" duty to find a cure for the virus, and even that is fading away.
Finally, when Will has to strangle his dog because it has become infected, the look of anguish on his face makes me realize something: this movie is calling out to more than our senses, it was what I will refer to as a silent movie. It does not try to seduce us with great sound effects, or great dialogue; we just see this man's life and all he has to face and the responsibility that he bears for no reason at all (after all, he is the last man in the world, or is he)
Everyday, he waits at a certain spot at a certain time for anyone who might have survived the virus. Discipline, responsibility... (I honestly don't know that I would do that; I think I would give up). The one day he doesn't show up there, a woman shows up and he does not see her. The world is crazy: the one day we do not live up to our responsibilities, sin comes knocking; but God always has a way of keeping the destiny of His people intact. The woman and her son come into his life and give him hope...hope and the strength to listen to God's voice in this silent place...

"God talked to me," she says to him.
"What do you mean God talked to you?"
"I know how it sounds..."
"Yeah, crazy."
"I listened to His voice; and He told me to turn on that radio, and come here..."
"My voice on the radio told you to come here."
...
"It's silent here. All you have to do is listen," she says.
...

He watches the lead zombie crashing into the transparent bulletproof glass, oblivious to the pain; he knows there is no escape for them. He turns to the woman and her son, and leads them into the tiny enclosure in the room.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm listening, just like you said. I'm listening."
He hands her the vaccine for the virus, and clenches her hand.

He reaches into the drawer and pulls out a grenade. The zombie cracks the wall; this is the last stand. The zombie rushes in one last time, Will rushes out one last time; the grenade explodes and engulfs the entire room in fire. It is the end.

This movie is either way ahead of its time, or far behind, from a time when the world was not glazed over by sensual and deceptive things...Either way, it is here now on time and it has made its impact...I know I am not a legend; but I want to be in my own small way...I want God to look at my gravestone, and say "He was a legend...My legend."
Needless to say, I am Legend is a good movie; another movie makes it into my top list.

Interesting

Not to the learned men of the day. To lowly, unsuspecting, shepherds. Men who did not tire of the task of caring for sheep who need continual guidance...protection...and who often go astray. They would understand why the Savior had come. And they would believe.

Discipline, commitment and responsibility in such simple men...and how the angels rejoiced at the sound of His birth. Doesn't this make us all wish were nothing but simple responsible shepherds? But we can't all be shepherds; some of us will dwell in the spotlight and the test will come, IN THE SPOTLIGHT. Will God send His angels to announce His will or will we be as forgotten men, like the Israelites during their time of darkness?
Discipline, commitment and responsibility in all of us...and how the angels rejoice at the sight of His birth in us.

Day 95

Finals is finally over. Time to do other things.

Day 94

There are some movies you should NEVER let your kids see! Trust me, I know. Two hours staying up fighting the darkness is not fun. I'll even give you a "slideshow" just because I'm that nice.

NEVER LET YOUR KIDS SEE THESE!!!
RAWHEAD REX
CHUCKY
HELL RAISER
LEPRECHAUN

Wish I could take back the time I spent watching these movies!
MOVIES YOUR KIDS SHOULD SEE:
THE LAND BEFORE TIME
THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
KID'S PRAISE

Yeah, at least I'm happy I saw those.
It's funny; I saw very few Nigerian movies for kids growing up. I take that back; I did see a couple of them. Hmm, but not many at all.

The Land Before Time

The little things in life matter the most. There is no place like home.
I can be the hard-faced "hard" man, and a lot of people do not realize that cos I smile and laugh so much. It's good to be like that sometimes cos the world is not a very "safe" place. I am so in love with innocence though; maybe that's why my Facebook profile picture has such significance for me: two white tiger cubs in a beautiful cave, one of them looking me straight in the eye with its deep green eyes, not threateningly, just looking. Isn't that what we all do sometimes? Just look...

i love kids:

oh. what joy and laughter. I think I'm in love, Calc oh Calculus

Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Calc is fun.

I'm very eclectic but I don't think I can do screamo, sorry Jared Thibodeau. Hope you've found your keys man.
I'm actually listening to the Alien Ant Farm version of "Smooth Criminal." It's interesting how many song remakes are out there; don't people need a license for using the same beats and lyrics as the original artist? Or does the recording label handle that? I guess so.

Day 93

Where did the word "(god)damn" originate?

Day 92

I was walking down a slightly steep and icy path back to my apartment, and I wondered what would happen if I were to slip and a car were coming down the other way fast. Then, I reprimanded myself for such morbidity, and then I thought, "I wonder what happens to the thoughts of man, like the random things we think about daily."
If anyone knows where I can find it in the Bible, or has any thoughts on the matter, I'd love for you to let me know.

Forever You are faithful
Forever You are strong
Forever You are with us
Forever Forever

I don't wake up wanting to die; I love life and the people around me, but I wonder if it is such a bad thing to look forward to eternity as much as I do.

Day 91

And so this day ends (well, almost); it definitely had its low points where I just didn't want to read and I allowed random things get to me. Praying is such a wonderful relief. I was also reminded today that God can ACTUALLY GET ANGRY with us when we act irresponsible; yes, the loving Father can get angry at us.
I also learnt(which by the way is correctly spelt for all you Americans who like the "ed"s in place of the "t"s) through circumstances that I honestly did not foresee and prepare for, that the world is not quite an innocent place; and we should always be discrete and act with wisdom, and not naivety. In that respect, of all men, I am a Utopian dreamer and thus, a chief sinner.
Finals begins tomorrow; and I realize that I write quite a lot, quite a lot.

Day 91

oh baby!!!!

Day 91

It's such a wonderful day! God is here with me, finals is going to be great, jamming to some Kid's Praise (for those of you who don't know it, it's an awesome kid's group) and yeah, it's a friend's birthday. Can it get any better? I declare by the power vested in me by the powers that be that it cannot! I am definitely looking forward to the break.Hola!

Day 91

Happy birthday Kay!

Day 91

Another study explains why we will not all have "Brad Pitt's perfectly chiseled features and Angelina Jolie's pouty lips." (Before you read on, weep with me; oh what disaster to think there is a slight chance that I will not look like Brad Pitt; I think my world just crashed! No seriously!)
The study first looks at the "lek paradox" which, in simple terms, means that in evolution, females are expected to choose the most attractive males (like female peacocks choose males with the longest tails- the report referenced these male peacocks as "George Clooney"). This should imply that all the males will be more attractive and so all their offsprings should also have this character. This is the "lek paradox."
But new reports show that the changes which are brought about by mutation (especially those in the area of greater resistance to diseases) which leads to genetic diversity has a more powerful effect on the "animals" than hereditary does; so since these males are also attractive to the females of the animal kingdom, their chances of mating increase a lot. They pass down this gene to their offsprings, so since the selection of mates is not solely by "looks", more ugly males have a chance at mating.

This is why we do not all have "Brad Pitt's chiseled features and Angelina Jolie's pouty lips." Our "ugly, unchiseled" fathers had disease fighting traits, like Claire in Heroes.

I refrain from using this word (I honestly cannot remember the last time I did), but this study borders on stupidity! In the first place, how does this relate to humans? How many women see a man and with her X-Woman powers identifies that his genome contains a special disease fighting trait; and so she mates with him, just so her kids can look good? Or does she do this "subconsciously"? Even so, why are diseases like AIDS still spreading?
On the beauty part, I agree that Pitt might have a "chiseled body" and Jolie, "pouty lips", but I think I'm very happy with the way I am, thank you very much. I wonder what would happen if people put their time into more constructive studies? Once more, my thoughts that any profession can become profitable is augumented.

God make me a servant, humble and meek
Lord let me lift up those who are weak

Help those that have been blinded by the deceit of this world see; and keep my eyes focused on You and not the things of this world!

Day 91

Wow! Breaking news: "Sexiest fathers produce the most desirable sons." But wait for it; there's a catch to this story: in the insect world.

The report reads:
First, the scientists paired male and female flies at random. They found the length of time it took for them to have sex ranged from two minutes to two hours. The speed at which mating occurred suggests how attractive the males were.

After each male mated with roughly three females, their sons were paired with single females, and the amount of time it took them to score was noted. The investigators found that attractive males indeed sired attractive sons.

"Attractiveness probably can't be defined by individual characteristics, so there is no single physical attribute that female fruit flies are looking for in a mate," said researcher David Hosken, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Exeter in England. "However, there is clearly a benefit to females in having sexy sons that are more likely to attract a mate and produce offspring."

It is possible that attractiveness is hereditable across the animal kingdom, Hosken said.

"It could even be the case in humans that the sexiest dads also have the most desirable sons, which would probably be bad news for my boy," he quipped.

I'm really sorry but people can just be sad sometimes; attractive insects? Come on!!

Day 90

"You don't need something more to explain something more," Murray Gell-Mann, a Nobel prize winner argues. In saying this, he is talking about the supernatural. He argues that life emerges from a set of fundamental rules and a series of accidents (quantum physics presumably; I don't know a lot about quantum); so a new mind can emerge from physics and a bunch of accidents an so forth.
I wonder sometimes, is it even possible to "argue" with these people; I know I sound very judgmental of the Einsteinians and Newtonians (that is those who follow scientific doctrine). Someone from the other end of the table can also come up with the same conclusion that I am also impossible to convince; and I accept that wholly. (Oh my, my spelling is getting slow!! Good ol' Clarkson! I take that back; I take responsibility for what I have been doing with my time).
At the end of his talk, Murray ended with a "...and by that they are talking about the supernatural...", and he laughed, and said there is no such thing, and a large part of the audience laughed with him and applauded.

(I shake my head)

This "chicken and egg argument", about what came first God (and religion) or the world, will end one day; that on its own is certain. The people of the world hope like we do, they have faith; why else would they believe in life outside of the planet when there is very little concrete evidence pointing to that?
We believe in God; they believe in evolution and quantum and nature; I am a young man, and I have not seen many years but I have experienced things that cannot allow me to believe anything outside of the blood of Jesus; I accept that and I do not apologize. I have seen prophecies come to pass, I have seen diseases healed on the spot, I have seen lives change in a near instant, I have seen the "dead" rise up (but that is a story for another day); I have also seen people die, I have seen prayers that have not yet been answered, I have seen what the evil in man can cause him to do; and after all of this, I still cannot believe that there is no God. I still cannot believe that I an outcome of "fundamental laws and a series of accidents"; not because I try to rationalize it, I don't. This is way too big of an issue for me to try to take on, I'll go under; I do not understand grace and the blood of Jesus, I do not understand that God loves me completely; at least not understanding in the way the world thinks of it.

But I know, I know, that if I come within an inch of my life, and I am required to forsake God and live, I know that God will not allow me to. He will protect His name and His child; I might suffer, probably will, not looking forward to it, but I don't mind; and then maybe I can understand these things, in eternity.

Until then, I continue to pray and hope, and "to love." Jesus I love You; I'm sorry but I can't help it; I just can't.

Day 89

Thank you God for an interesting day. Hmm...hmm...

Eyes are such beautiful things, especially eyes that love God. Eyes. Izzz. I wish......

Day 89

Some good bands:
Bread
America

Some good songs:
Aint Nobody- Chaka Khan

Bread is such a good band. Some of the lyrics are just so incredible, and yet so simple.

"...a touch without a feel..."
Lost Without Your Love- Bread

Can you even imagine that?

I'll have to update this list when I have more time.

Day 88

"I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You
(I am free to live for You)
I am free
(I am free)
Yes, I am free
(I am free)

Who the Son sets free is free indeed.
Who the Son sets free is free indeed."

Newsboys

It's amazing to even think about such things. I was studying for my finals test coming up next week but as soon as this song came up I had to listen to the lyrics; they captivated me. And I remember going to the gym yesterday; it was my first time in three weeks!!! having to walk about 10 mins in the snow everyday is not very appealing. oh well, it's a price I have to pay if I want to keep working out. I remember holding onto the pull up bar and listening to the music playing; and I thought, "Oh my God what is going on here?" They were playing one of the most explicit songs imaginable on the radio!! It was just 10pm!! It pained me severely to look around and see the indifference on the faces of the people in the gym; none of them seemed to notice anything was wrong, but I'm probably wrong. Some of them probably did, at least John Exley was in there also; they probably did not see that the song had an impact on me, so why should I expect to notice if they had been shocked?
Lord, take back Your music. Raise the ones You have gifted so that they can have an influence on the world. Thank God I write.

"Truly I say to you, Whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and be put into the sea; and has no doubt in his heart, but has faith that what he says will come about, he will have his desire."

Mark 11:23

The words of our mouth and the thoughts of our heart are an integral part of what "befall" the world, our world, before the Lord's coming.

Day 87

Eureka! Now someone says it right, or maybe I just wasn't paying attention before, or maybe it was not the right time for God to reveal it to me.

"To love and to hold, through sickness and through health till death do you part..."

Get it? To love, aka an active verb. Love is not a feeling; it is a set of actions that you consistently make "through sickness and through health." Now I begin to learn what love is; and I realize that I have loved through the strength of Christ without completely knowing what it meant.

"By this shall all men know ye are my disciples; if you have love one to another."
John 13:35.

Day 87

"...The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing...
"...A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all of his bones, none of them will be broken. Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him..."

Aaah, I can see clearly now the rain is gone.

Day 86

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin?but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin?but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day

Johnny Nash

I wish I could say this right now; but I can't. It'll all be good tomorrow though. LLL. Tomorrow is such a wonderful thing to look forward to.

Day 86

"And Oh happy day happy day, You washed my sin away
Oh happy day happy day, I'll never be ashamed
Oh Lord, forever I am changed
I'll never be the same"

Tim Hughes

Enough said.

Day 85

When people stare into space, what are they thinking about? I've been meaning to write a song about "wasting time" for a while now, but the wave of my inspiration does not stay at a climax for a long enough period; maybe I just have not thought about it more. But, really, I'm looking around and I'm surrounded by noise, and it is good. But some people still stare into "space". What is space though? The nothingness that can only exist in the mind? It can't be in this "dimension" or world because the laws of nature do not allow vaccum. Repeatedly, I say, I am content and happy.
To be young and strong is good; to be young, strong and deep is better; to be young, strong, deep, (I'm tempted to say wide), and wise is probably the best. But age is inevitable; so youth is a a fleeting thing, a fantasy in a certain sense:
So to be old, and look back at your mistakes, your sins, your doubts and unaccomplished dreams; and realize that you had more than one chance to tell your friends, and family you love them, more than one chance to be the husband you always wanted to be, more than one chance to cry before God's throne, more than one chance to take hold of HIS destiny, more than one chance...makes you respect age. It makes you long for eternity even more; and then you realize:


Romans 13:11 KJV
And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.

No wonder the old lose so much sleep!

Day 84

In the song, "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns, I really do not believe that the rest of the Israelite soldiers were on the side wishing they had David's courage. I think they were at the side, their pounding hearts slowing to a normal pace; I think they must thought, "Rather him than me; I have a family; I have a child...I have this and that." I think they must have tried to justify their inability to step out; but I do not think they wished they were David. Maybe when Goliath fell, maybe then, as the lyrics sing:

"Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they would have had the strength to stand."

Yeah, maybe then they would have wanted David's strength; but remember that strength is nothing in the face of a new fear; all strength vanishes in the face of true fear. That is the only reason why it makes sense that God was with David and HE strengthened him. I wonder what I would have done if I had been there in those times? Where would I have stood? What would have played in my mind? Would I even have wanted David to defeat Goliath? Maybe before the battle; but after, when David was receiving all the glory? Just like Saul, it is easy for us to desire the glory and none of the work. Oh so easy.

Day 82

There are way too many ups and downs in a single day; it gets very tiring after a while. I have decided not to allow my physical emotions get to me (I mentioned in a prior post about how one does not need to "feel" God to know of His presence). But it's very annoying when I have an incredible day, and yet I have to think hard to remember what made the day so incredible!! Now isn't that a bummer? One homework which I was just not in the right frame of mind to do almost upset my balance of things for the day. I could have made it all better by going to sleep; but that would be stupid in my opinion. Instead, I chose to write and read my Bible BEFORE going to sleep. Emotions are a dangerous thing. It's so important to remember that "it is not about self-esteem" like Pastor Rick said, or as DP said about "the things on the earth" but "the things that are above." I am happy because God is honoring me, for no reason; and I am impacting people's lives everyday, in ways I don't even understand. So, even if I don't "live out ALL MY dreams", I am living out God's, God step after God step; it'll just be "cooler" to actually feel that all the time.
I need to figure out what I'm doing for Christmas since I won't be going to Houston with my mom, Nigeria with my sisters or N.Carolina with my brother. Maybe I should have just gone to London; in retrospect, I should have gone...please; if my retrospection does not teach me anything, then away with retrospection! No need crying over spilled milk; I need to ask God where He wants me to go.

Day 81

The joys of tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow's tomorrow are unfathomable; we will all fail, but the joys of hope far surpass the pains of failure.
Shout out to Lore Ferguson; her blog has to be one of the best I've read. Check it out at: http://lore.unskewed.com/

It's a bad sad world; music can be a terrible influence. I just found out what it means to "superman" (used in the Soulja Boi song) from urban dictionary; it is a sad bad world.